yayitssal's Xanga

Overcoming obstacles...

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 22:43:48 GMT

I've been going through a lot of obstacles lately. Mentally at work, physically through a flu, and spiritually needing a recharge.
I guess it's because my body is super weak right now and I normally don't complain about my work... but today is an exception.

I found out why my spirits have been down lately. I needed a dose of Joel Osteen's motivation.
I know a lot of people hate him because he doesn't teach the whole bible... but he sure knows how to put faith and hope into our lives.
He's really good at what he does and I support him for that. Especially during these hard times, people need motivation and hope.
I think it's hope that drives faith and helps us upgrade to another level. (whether it be physically, intellectually, or spiritually).
Of course all this is done to honor our creator and to reflect His goodness, mercy, and grace to others.

While watching this video...
http://www.joelosteen.com/Broadcast/VideoStreaming/Pages/VideoStreaming.aspx#
11-02-2009 #441 - Your Destiny Supersedes Your Mistakes

I realized that our mistakes in the past needs to be buried and to not live with guilt or hesitation of failure.
When it comes to mistakes, I think I messed up the most... but I realized that through failures... it will eventually lead to success.
Of course that's if I learn from the mistakes and develop into another level.

I've been stressed out at work a lot these days... dealing with ethical and moral issues.
Doing business and trying to do undercover ministry to help others, doesn't blend too well.
But I'm confident that God put me in this place for a reason and I'm determined to be the best I can be.
Having big dreams and goals are great... but I have to realize that this is not my show, rather everything that I do must glorify God.
It's a daily struggle and a fight to keep greed and bad choices out of my life.

As I'm overcoming this flu, I pray that these hands be used diligently in better preparing myself physically.
Not being able to workout or sweat at the gym has been torturous.
It's funny how once you have it, you don't want it... but once you don't have it, you want it.
So the lesson for me today was to cherish what I've been given from above and to always be thankful and always be humble.
Have a blessed weekend ya. The bat's going into recovery mode, signing off until further notice...

Reality of Porn + Booze

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 19:57:21 GMT

I'm sadden to hear the horrible news of a young girl getting gang raped outside of campus during homecoming, in Northern Cal.
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-banks31-2009oct31,0,41271.column?track=rss

This is a grim reminder of how the media and our so called "cool" culture mixes badly.
My heart and prayers go to the victim & their families.

I think the reason why our younger generation is falling into a deeper hole is because of porn + booze.
They see it in porn and see woman being used and abused and the pornstars actually being happy. Which is different in reality, because girls aren't pornstars.
Then when the alcohol gets into the system, what little control that they had... goes out of control after a few drinks.

Growing up, I remember porn just being plain. Now there are all types of craziness and taking things to the extremes.
Same with booze... the choices and varieties are getting more extreme, as well as consumption amounts.

I decided to stay away from situations where drinking takes place in public. But I'm often guilty of that as well, because that's what young people do.
I was actually in ktown last night with some friends at a bar.
I'm pretty observant everywhere I go. I can see through peoples eyes, often times how they're feeling and things like that. It's weird!
Although people think they are having a good time... I personally don't think that they are.
Many times, I see lots of lost souls who are craving love and attention... especially girls.

I observed that almost every girl in that bar was drinking alcohol. Some of them, heavily... which is truly tragic...
because that's what guys want so that they can take advantage of them by so called "loosening up".
I always tell my sister not to drink in public, because her body is not her body after that first drink.
Guys will often times pressure girls to drink more and more, so they get laid later on in the evening.

The truth comes out... so my younger brothers and sisters - do not drink in public and make a fool of yourself...
because no matter how much control you have, when you drink... you get drunk... eventually.

Why read the instruction manual?

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:41:19 GMT

Yay!! I finally bought a new chair. I seriously needed a new chair. My old office chair was probably 10 years old, or more... problem is I don't remember. lol
Yes, I am the Korean-Jew. [shrugs]
I wanted to buy the $800 Herman Miller mesh chair, but ended up buying a $100 chair from Costco. Yes, I'm just cheap like that.
It's really nice, plush and is very comfortable. All black and looks very expensive.

So when I was about to assemble it out of the box, I got really horny and didn't read the instruction manual that came with it. Big mistake!!!
I think guys are notorious for not reading instruction manuals or asking for directions. I guess it's in our DNA.
I ended up assembling it and then disassembling it because something didn't seem right... lol.
Took me twice as long when it could of been done in no time. Go figure!

I guess that's the same way in life as well. I've been meeting a lot of non-Christians these days.
FYI: I actually prefer to hang out with non-Christians than Christians, so don't hate - I love you too
The problem is they never try or read the instruction manuals that God gave to us (aka BIBLE), to read before living this hectic and often lonely life without it.
Mainly because no one really showed them how to read the bible or gave them the big picture of what the bible is about.
Or it could be because they were hurt by a Christian or often times, people at their church weren't normal or acting weird - so they left and never looked back.
I myself was on that same boat, and never wanted to go back to church again or even have to do anything with religious people.
It's always that one that messes it up and I myself am guilty of that as well, so forgive me if I'm being a hypocrite.

When I first walked into the Biola campus, I love how my professor threw a bible onto the podium and asked "What does this book mean to you?"
I was sitting in the back, puzzled and the room was filled with life-time church goers, so I thought someone would yell out the correct answer.
To my disbelief, no one got it right.
I love how he showed us the big picture, before diving into the words. I think that's how it should be. I want to know before I go.
It's like getting from point A to point B, like having a map before venturing out, like knowing where you're going before you leave the house.

I myself am guilty of so called "winging it" without instructions. In fact, I've been winging it almost all my life.
I knew something wasn't right, just like how I was installing that chair. All the pieces didn't go together as planned.
Just how the creator of that chair wanted it to be built a certain way, so it functions properly and safely.
So that the end user will be comfortable, like myself here... sitting on this chair and typing this blog.

So my dear brothers and sisters, I present to you this book. It was used in one of my classes called Spiritual Formation.
Sounds stupid, but an Awesome book!!!

http://www.amazon.com/How-Read-Bible-All-Worth/dp/0310246040/ref=reader_auth_dp
ISBN-10: 0310246040

I know many that are going through some hard times right now, but I want to encourage you to stay in faith and know Gods' plans are ALWAYS good for you.

My sister calls it sissy music...

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 22:09:10 GMT

I actually bought the new Mariah Carey CD... lol.
It felt weird buying it at Target [becuz the cover looks like I'm buying a porno CD or something]
and even more weird when the cute Armenian lady cashier stared me down twice during checkout. I kid you not!
Plus to make it worse, she had trouble taking the plastic security thing out from the CD, which took like 3 minutes while everyone behind in line was sighing.
She had that look on her face, like really? you like her that much?
She was probably thinking - you might as well wear a pink shirt while you're at it. Hah, funny funny. *I have no shame*

I dunno why, but I like music that's filled with love and beat. When it comes to music, I think I'm pretty old skool.
I found out why I loved Mariah Carey ever since I was a little. She gotta be a Christian. I say that becuz...
I was just naturally drawn to her...
Words like "Omnipresence" are in her songs. I only know this word because my theology professor always said it.
A lot of her songs are filled with love and I'm just naturally drawn to that, because we're created by our creator to love.
It doesn't take rocket science to find out why we're drawn to certain things, like to love.

My favorite is below #15 & #17. Don't hate, participate! Enjoy

Total shame...

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 17:19:29 GMT

Finally getting over the flu. This one kicked me pretty good.
It even prevented me from running the 1/2 marathon in Long Beach, argh!!! Total shame. Waste of $80.
I like this type of shame. My original plan was to just run it and suffer through every step.
But my wisdom kicked in and I followed the Bruce Lee principle, which is to not workout when sick.

I don't know why I like to suffer. I guess it's been in me since birth. Crazy, I know!
This event is a great reminder for me to take care of myself better and not overwork til my body crashes.
I'm sure God doesn't like the fact that I'm not a good steward to this temporary flesh (sexy body... j/k), which I neglect often.
Starting from today, I'm going to only work 8 hours and rest on weekends, workout more and maybe even start Hapkido & Kumdo again. I truly miss it.

EDIT: TMI

6 days and counting...

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 19:33:00 GMT

I guess it's technically 5 days since the Marathon will be early in the morning this coming Sunday.
I'm definitely not ready, especially trying to battle this swine flu or whatever it's called... lol.
I don't have a fever yet, but just runny nose and some coughing.
The batman is officially down and hopefully I can get better after some rest tonight.

My condition wasn't good leaving to San Jose this weekend, for my friend's wedding ceremony.
It was actually my 3rd wedding participation ever and it was nice, although I was quiet and not feeling well.
Will update more later, gotta get some Pho noodle soup right now...

A woman of Proverbs 31

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 17:36:25 GMT

We've been studying in class for the past 5 weeks about wisdom.
I probably read Proverbs like over 100 times, because the great King wrote it and it's my name also, so it's natural to have more interest in it.
I always read it fast without thinking much, but when I stumbled on this verse at school... I took it to heart and action.
I found out that no matter how great the wisdom is and how many times it's been read, if that wisdom is not applied.... it goes to waste.

Although it's been written many millenniums ago, that same principle and wisdom applies today.
If we can think of what the writer is trying to say or make his point, it's easy to apply that wisdom today.
So I've been sorta keeping a look out for a woman like Proverbs 31 and I found someone like that.
But my biblical wisdom tells me she's that woman Proverbs 31 talks about. Although she's no super model or even close to that....
The batman has seen her clean the bathrooms and the streets in one of the worst neighborhoods in town, on top of that... she's definitely not poor!
Not so that others are watching, but she does it with a humble heart and I've seen that from a distance with my own eyes.
She goes the extra mile, when she only needed to go 1 mile. During the heat of the summer, she spends her spare time helping others.
Bending her back to serve others and those who need help. Truly a rare find, especially in our society and age.

Here is Proverbs 31:10-31 - A Noble woman
¹⁰ A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

¹² She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

¹³ She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.

¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.

¹⁵ She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.

¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.

¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.

²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

²² She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.

²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

²⁹ "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

³¹ Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

opps I did it again...

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 22:42:28 GMT

Yes! it's that time of year again. I'm totally not ready to run a marathon, not even a 1/2... it's sad I know.
So I signed up for the Long Beach 1/2 marathon coming up early next month. So I can be motivated to workout more.
I was contemplating on whether or not I should do this because I rarely run over 1 mile during my workouts and long runs are boring & torturous.
I usually just train to run fast and as quickly as possible. Just in case shit hits the fan... nah saying?
Like just in case I'm on the top floor of a high rise building and it's starting to fall down, I want to be able to fly down the stairs.
OR while I'm eating some tacos in the hood and a shootout happens, I want to be able to run for safety or common sense would be to duck for cover, then run.

I know I'm being silly but yeah, I need to train harder. Especially working indoors these days, my body isn't use to being still.

I was reading the book of Job last night for homework and it just blew me away.
A man like Job, someone who was so perfect in Gods' eyes... one who had great respect, wealth, and power looses it all in one day, because God allowed it.
I love how his heart never hardens in the end. Although he bickers and cries out to God, he never turned his back.
I look at myself and see some similarities in my life with Job's. I once had a lot and it's been taken away right before my eyes... not just once, but many times.
Over and over again. In my younger days, I was so bitter and angry at God, I turned my back and determined to be that way forever. How foolish of me!

But now I understand that even though God allows bad things to happen in our lives, His will and love is more than worthy of our praise to Him.
Now when adversity happens to me, I simply bow my head in silent prayer and confidently know that His plans are always good at the end of the day.
Even though it might not happen right away or it might take my whole lifetime to see goodness. It's critical to have the heart of worship and love towards God.
It's easy to give praise to God when times are good and when life is easy. But when shit hits the fan, it's tuff... I know.
I completely understand that, I've been there many many times.

But what I've come to realize is that, whatever happens in life (whether blessings or devastation) - God certainly deserves ALL our praise and worship.
Not to praise and worship God expecting something in return, but to praise and worship Him for who He is and whole-heartedly with love. =)

As a dedication for my commitment to stay clean - I disconnected my cell phone as of today.
The past has been calling me recently and it's tempting to refuse good sex and good times.
Even though I never called back, sometimes the best thing to do is avoid.
I decided to put the past behind and start fresh with a new number, for this is the start of my new commitment.
I should of done this long time ago, although I haven't sinned from my flesh in a while, I've definitely sinned from my heart.
Expecting to sin from the heart itself, is keeping me back from what is good.

Workout routine is getting started

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 22:38:43 GMT

Life is good!!! I just found another gym location that I like. Amen!
Usually the batman doesn't like to reveal where he goes or what he does (due to security concerns).
But I like to share something that's good.
Over the past few months, I hated going to the LaFitness in Westwood, because it's cramped and dirty.
But I found a better one nearby, it's on La Cienega & 18th street and it's only about 2 miles from my work. Parking is good also.
I played some basketball with the homies yesterday and it was cool. My black side came out and it was fun.

Anyhow, I'm trying to go everyday and am trying to look sexy.
Friends have been trying to hook me up left and right. I appreciate it greatly. I definitely need to get laid btw... lol.
But it's not that I'm being very picky, I desire a woman who has Godly wisdom & faith, and also walks the walk. An average gal just doesn't float my boat.
I found out it's not healthy to live like how I'm living. Especially at my age, where I'm in my prime and my hormones are running in overdrive.
I like my freedom, but at the same time it's hard to live without someone. Just how the bible says, God didn't want a man to be alone.

But I know my time is coming soon and my only way to get there is by being obedient to God and His words.
I have to look at it as a test and I know His plans are always good for me.
I do pray for wisdom and discernment, as I might need to make the right choices in the coming months.
I've been listening to Hillsong a lot these days at work. Music is always good to the soul.

I found a great book

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 20:55:41 GMT

http://www.amazon.com/Discovering-Way-Wisdom-Edward-Curtis/dp/0825424046/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251754784&sr=8-1

I actually didn't find it, but more like stumbled upon it.
I always like to share something that's awesome!
This book is used in my class at Biola.
A wonderful book and a book filled with Godly wisdom.
I highly recommend this book to anyone.
If you seek and desire Godly wisdom, you're a smart person and your life will never be the same.
I learned so much from this book and may God bless you while you seek His wisdom and love.